What I have learned since my move...
I have learned a few things since I moved here, and I would like to share them with you:
1. When people refer to "Tech," as in "I went to Tech" they are referring to VIRGINIA Tech, not Texas Tech.
2. The crime is ridiculous. A couple of weekends ago there were 8 murders.
3. Never live in Prince George's County....this is where said murders usually take place.
4. This is the single most educated area in the entire US, yet everyone seems to be morons.
5. When referring to MORONS, I mean people who claim to love college football, and then ask what the mascot for The University of Texas is, and if we are any good this year. Oh, and when you say you went to "UT," they don't know what that means...their lives only circled around the IVY league.
6. Everything is more expensive here, even Chili's.
7. A one-bedroom condo can cost you $350,000.....and that's CHEAP.
8. Trees CAN actually change colors.
9. A lot of people don't watch TV...it's weird.
10. They think Jon and I are idiots b/c we think the balls-freezing temperature of 50 during the day is cold. I say, hey, it's October, not fucking February.
11. Everyone seems to be workaholics....9 1/2 hour days are common, and by common I mean normal.
12. The concept of a wife that stays at home to take care of house/kids makes their heads cock to the side like a dog when they don't understand what you are saying.
13. Apparently I am supposed to know political things like who the President's Chief of Staff is...guess what.....I don't give a shit. God, I should have moved to LA.
14. Knowing pop culture seems to be a bit, how do I say it, trashy and idiodic. Why would you care about movie trivia, when you could know why China is important to keep an eye on, b/c soon enough, they will be our arch-enemy.
15. No one will play me in Scene-It.
16. Those who have book smarts usually do not possess common sense. I knew that already....but I REALLY learned it here.
17. Everyone eats "ethnic" food. I am sorry, but Ethiopian food is an oxymoron, so I refuse to partake in said mockery.
18. All sports broadcasters are biased and LOVE USC for no good reason. Apparently they have all had a piece of Leinart like Nick Lachey has.
19. No one understands Texas or Texans. They don't get the size, the bravado, or the awesomeness. People still think we ride on horses through the desert, and they think you can drive across it in like three hours.
20. You can't eat anything on the Metro. The Metro cops JUST might kill you. There was a pregnant lady who was arrested for talking on her cell phone too loudly. Don't fuck with the Metro cops. They are the Westlake and Shendohah cops of DC.
21. Everyone drives UNDER the speed limit....Jon and I are more than baffled and annoyed by this, and we are on the verge of doing a sociological study.
22. The society here is very stratified. You have to live in the right area, and in that area you have to live on the right floor. If you live on the 10th floor, you are soooo much better than that peon that lives on the 3rd. Oh, and if you live in DC proper, you think you are THE SHIT. God forbid you have to EVER cross the river into, my God, a suburb. Even though Arlinton, VA would still technically be part of DC if it were actually a city. But it's not a city...I still don't really know what it is, but it thinks it's better than you.
23. Jon has an uncanny ability to pick a Halloween costume at zero hour, spend no money, and steal the show.
24. The Washington Redskins is now my hometeam. Not the STATE of Washington...I don't get it. Why not the DC Redskins at least, don't confuse everybody. As if I care about the NFL anyway.
25. The World War 2 Memorial is awesome.
26. I miss Taco Bueno, Luby's, Pappasito's, Blue Bell, and surprisingly, Jack in the Box (just for their milk shakes, and sourdough breakfast Jack sandwiches)
27. I also miss the normality of being able to get in my car and go to Target or the mall. Most of the time, I have such a loss of direction and place, I could be in Manhattan, and I wouldn't even know it.
28. If you looked up nepotism in the dictionary, you would find Washington DC.
29. I can't wait for Christmas.
30. I have become good friends with Dr. Phil and Oprah...they really get me.
Peace. Thanks for listening!
1. When people refer to "Tech," as in "I went to Tech" they are referring to VIRGINIA Tech, not Texas Tech.
2. The crime is ridiculous. A couple of weekends ago there were 8 murders.
3. Never live in Prince George's County....this is where said murders usually take place.
4. This is the single most educated area in the entire US, yet everyone seems to be morons.
5. When referring to MORONS, I mean people who claim to love college football, and then ask what the mascot for The University of Texas is, and if we are any good this year. Oh, and when you say you went to "UT," they don't know what that means...their lives only circled around the IVY league.
6. Everything is more expensive here, even Chili's.
7. A one-bedroom condo can cost you $350,000.....and that's CHEAP.
8. Trees CAN actually change colors.
9. A lot of people don't watch TV...it's weird.
10. They think Jon and I are idiots b/c we think the balls-freezing temperature of 50 during the day is cold. I say, hey, it's October, not fucking February.
11. Everyone seems to be workaholics....9 1/2 hour days are common, and by common I mean normal.
12. The concept of a wife that stays at home to take care of house/kids makes their heads cock to the side like a dog when they don't understand what you are saying.
13. Apparently I am supposed to know political things like who the President's Chief of Staff is...guess what.....I don't give a shit. God, I should have moved to LA.
14. Knowing pop culture seems to be a bit, how do I say it, trashy and idiodic. Why would you care about movie trivia, when you could know why China is important to keep an eye on, b/c soon enough, they will be our arch-enemy.
15. No one will play me in Scene-It.
16. Those who have book smarts usually do not possess common sense. I knew that already....but I REALLY learned it here.
17. Everyone eats "ethnic" food. I am sorry, but Ethiopian food is an oxymoron, so I refuse to partake in said mockery.
18. All sports broadcasters are biased and LOVE USC for no good reason. Apparently they have all had a piece of Leinart like Nick Lachey has.
19. No one understands Texas or Texans. They don't get the size, the bravado, or the awesomeness. People still think we ride on horses through the desert, and they think you can drive across it in like three hours.
20. You can't eat anything on the Metro. The Metro cops JUST might kill you. There was a pregnant lady who was arrested for talking on her cell phone too loudly. Don't fuck with the Metro cops. They are the Westlake and Shendohah cops of DC.
21. Everyone drives UNDER the speed limit....Jon and I are more than baffled and annoyed by this, and we are on the verge of doing a sociological study.
22. The society here is very stratified. You have to live in the right area, and in that area you have to live on the right floor. If you live on the 10th floor, you are soooo much better than that peon that lives on the 3rd. Oh, and if you live in DC proper, you think you are THE SHIT. God forbid you have to EVER cross the river into, my God, a suburb. Even though Arlinton, VA would still technically be part of DC if it were actually a city. But it's not a city...I still don't really know what it is, but it thinks it's better than you.
23. Jon has an uncanny ability to pick a Halloween costume at zero hour, spend no money, and steal the show.
24. The Washington Redskins is now my hometeam. Not the STATE of Washington...I don't get it. Why not the DC Redskins at least, don't confuse everybody. As if I care about the NFL anyway.
25. The World War 2 Memorial is awesome.
26. I miss Taco Bueno, Luby's, Pappasito's, Blue Bell, and surprisingly, Jack in the Box (just for their milk shakes, and sourdough breakfast Jack sandwiches)
27. I also miss the normality of being able to get in my car and go to Target or the mall. Most of the time, I have such a loss of direction and place, I could be in Manhattan, and I wouldn't even know it.
28. If you looked up nepotism in the dictionary, you would find Washington DC.
29. I can't wait for Christmas.
30. I have become good friends with Dr. Phil and Oprah...they really get me.
Peace. Thanks for listening!
posted by ApatowForever at 5:56 PM
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